Sunday, November 16, 2008

I Was Harrassed By Police and all I got was...

Traumatized. If you've never been harrassed by police, like I'd NEVER been, you may have a similar reaction.
Post traumatic stress disorder.

I had the worst case of writer's block in all my life as a result. I shut down subconsciously, and began living in fear of all things unknown. And, I didn't know how to come out of it. I'm still recovering.

Honestly, one day at a time is not a cliche. I'm able to get past the experience because of all the days that have followed that fateful day when one racist police officer decided to turn his anger and frustrations into a weapon against me.

The devil may have his due, but my triumph is the peace I have found despite such ugliness.

My writing will continue.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

People Are Strange

"Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today." ~Malcolm X, a.k.a. Malik Shabazz

As time goes by, I interact with so many different kinds of people, and it amazes me.

People are like snowflakes. There are no two exactly alike, yet, each is complex and beautiful.

When I was really little, before I had 13 siblings, I always wanted a friend who was just like me. I was an only child, but I was a social butterfly. Unfortunately, it got me into trouble, because I was always in "grown folks' business."

So, I used to have a make-believe friend that lived on the other side of the world who would think like me, act like me, and look like me. When I got older, I realized that I was seeking a doppelganger, an alter-ego. Well, my mom remarried, had a bunch of kids as did my dad, and my make-believe friend disappeared.

I never stopped seeking a doppelganger. But, I realized that it didn't matter. I recognize the beauty in people as snowflakes. I learn so much about myself and others from my new friendships, and through meeting so many different kinds of people.

"O Mankind, We have created you from male and female, made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the best among you in the sight of God is the one who is pious and loves God much. Verily, God is All-Knowing, All-Aware." ~The Noble Qur'an, Chapter 49, Verse 13

You know, eventually I gave birth to my doppelganger. I'm absolutely amazed by my child. She astounds me everyday, and I'm blessed with the privilege of being her mother. My mother, and all my friends tell me all the time that she is just like her mother. My very own Mini-Me. All I can say to that is, "Be careful what you wish for." :)

My Favorite Lyrics This Week:
People Are Strange
~by The Doors

People are strange
when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly
when you're alone
Women seem wicked
when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven
when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out in the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange, when you're

People are strange
when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly
when you're alone
Women seem wicked
when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven
when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange, when you're

When you're strange
Faces come out in the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're

Monday, March 17, 2008

Where Have All The Smart Men Gone?

I often wonder what will become of Mankind, when many of our "so-called leaders" have taken a permanent brain vacation.

Who shall come to free us from the ignorance that has invaded our country?

It's an epidemic run rampant, and there is no hope in sight.

Unless, we elect an INTELLIGENT POTUS this time around...

(And, I don't mean Hillary.)

(And, I damn sure don't mean McCain!)

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Ambitious Notions of Existential Importance

"We all know sometimes life's hates and troubles, can make you wish you were born in another time and space. But you can bet your life times that and twice its double, that God knew exactly where He wanted you to be placed." ~Stevie Wonder

I have Asthma.
It sucks.
I haven't really been well lately, but, I'm better.

And, a lot has been on my mind. The notion that I have that my empirical knowledge has been leading me forward in life, has really been buzzing about in my mind lately.

I mean to say, based upon my own life experiences, I learn and grow and achieve a sort of development in my own existence.

But, I think that's bullsh*t. Well, in a way...

Because everything I am is a culmination of my understanding of experiences, and yet, my experiences are a creation of God. God created me, and created my circumstances, therefore, I am a product of God. And, my experiences are a product of God.

And all of this is important, why? You might ask yourself.

Because, in a wordy way, I'm simply stating the obvious: my knowledge and experiences are not that which make me who I am, but GOD makes me who I am. And, so I must thank God. :)

It all comes back to God.

So, don't get lost in all the sauce.

My Favorite Lyric this Week:
Pastime Paradise
~by Stevie Wonder

They've been spending most their lives
Living in a pastime paradise
They've been spending most their lives
Living in a pastime paradise
They've been wasting most their time
Glorifying days long gone behind
They've been wasting most their days
In remembrance of ignorance so disgraced
Tell me who of them will come to be
How many of them are you and me


Race relations









to the evils of the world

They've been spending most their lives
Living in a future paradise
They've been spending most their lives
Living in a future paradise
They've been looking in their minds
For the day that sorrows gone from time
They keep telling of the day
When the savior of love will come to stay
Tell me who of them will come to be
How many of them are you and me


Of race relations




Of revelations


World salvation



to the peace of the world

They've been spending most their lives
Living in a pastime paradise
They've been spending most their lives
Living in a pastime paradise
They've been spending most their lives
Living in a future paradise
They've been spending most their lives
Living in a future paradise
We've been spending too much of our lives
Living in a pastime paradise
Let's start living our lives
Living for the future paradise
Praise to our lives
Living for the future paradise
Shame to anyone's lives
Living in the pastime paradise

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Moment of Clarity

"Thank God for granting me this moment of clarity." ~Jay-Z

I have come upon a milestone. I've hit upon an epiphany. I'm no longer Sisyphus.

I am Athena.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

No Ordinary Love

What is LOVE really?

Damned if I know!

Wait, I think I have an idea. It can mean so many things...

I LOVE the way God takes care of me. He LOVES me unconditionally.

I LOVE my Mommy. She is the only human being that I put before all others, except God.

I LOVE my children, and the LOVE they have for me is immeasureable.

I LOVE my puppy, Sugar. She LOVES me unconditionally, even when I don't take her for a walk when she whimpers at me through the screen door.

I understand LOVE to be something that comes from surrender. I mean, I surrender my will to God's. I trust that my faith in Him is sufficient for me, and He provides all I need.

Love is not something to be bargained. It must be given freely. And, in turn, it will be received. The more you give, the more you receive.

Love is a gift. You can't buy it, though.

Love is something of which this world needs a whole lot more.

Spread the love.

Give love.

Be love.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Kick Rocks!

Ever have one of those days where you could care less what people think?

Well, my patience is thin to begin with.

And, the whole "Spring Forward" daylight savings time phenomenon has thrown me off a bit.

So, I'm telling everyone today that they can kick rocks.

Tomorrow is another day. :)

Sunday, March 9, 2008

The Unexpected

"It's not what happens to you that's important, it's how you deal with it." ~Nia Malika Dixon

It is often looked upon as a coincidence, serendipity, bad luck, irony, a sick twist in fate, whatever...but the unexpected is the spice of life.

We are often thrown curveballs, or wild pitches. Then, we swing wildly and miss the point.

Stand still when life throws you the unexpected.

Often, we miss the opportunity to learn something from the experience, expending valuable energy on the why and how. Just live in the moment.

Life is meant to be experienced, so when the unexpected happens, it's a good thing.

Go with it, learn from it, and grow.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Ride It!

Life is a huge rollercoaster.

Hold on tight!
Just when you think you're up, you're plummeting and you feel as if your heart is in your throat. Then, you make a sharp turn and slam into the wind. And, you're climbing again.

Sometimes it helps to just recognize that life is full of ups and downs, and they are unexpected. Although, you know when getting on the roller coaster that there are twists and turns, and sudden drops, you are still caught off-guard and scream when they happen. And, it's scary. But, that's what makes it fun.

When I first moved here to L.A., I had no idea how hard it would be. But, I realize that it's a roller coaster. Ups include networking with the right people, and getting positive feedback on my scripts. Downs include living paycheck to paycheck, and wondering if I'll ever be de-stressed enough to write.

After being here for nearly three years, I believe that I've got the hang of it. I understand the ride I'm on, and I can lean into the sharp curves, and ride out the huge dips. I'm actually enjoying the ride. I've had my film featured at a film festival. I've been written about in the newspaper, and on the internet. I actually have fans who support my film and my future projects.

If you have a dream, no matter how big, go for it. Get on the roller coaster and ride it. It may be scary at first, but after a few ups and downs, you'll feel the rhythm. It won't get easier. There will be the same sharp turns and gut-renching drops. But, it will be an experience that you'll have mastered. You will anticipate the dips, and lean into the twists and turns. You will feel the wind on your face, and it will be sublime.

Life is a roller coaster.

Just ride it. And, don't look down.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Tell 'Em That It's Human Nature

Why do we do the things we do? Is it because of when we're born? Is it based on where we're born and raised?

I wonder about the reasons why people do what they do. Sometimes, I think about my life and the path I've been taking.

It really is about choices. Each choice a person makes leads them to the next choice. It's our choices that define us.

I think, by being born in the '70s, I make choices that are reflective of those times. Turbulent times they were. A decade of change. I also think that being born and raised in Baltimore is reflected in my life choices as well. The biggest one being getting the hell out of there.

The one choice that I truly believe is my guiding force in life is my choice to be Muslim. My beliefs keep me stable. My faith in God is my anchor. It's also my rudder. And, the wind in my sails.

I belive that to have faith in God is human instinct. So, trust your instincts. And if they ask you why, tell them that it's human nature.

My Favorite Lyric This Week:

"Human Nature" by Michael Jackson

Looking out

Across the night-time

The city winks a sleepless eye

Hear her voice

Shake my window

Sweet seducing sighs

Get me out

Into the night-time

Four walls won't hold me tonight

If this town

Is just an apple

Then let me take a bite

If they say -Why, why, tell 'em that it's human nature

Why, why, does he do me that way

If they say -Why, why, tell 'em that it's human nature

Why, why, does he do me that way

Reaching out

To touch a stranger

Electric eyes are everywhere

See that girl

She knows I'm watching

She likes the way I stare

If they say -Why, why, tell 'em that it's human nature

Why, why, does he do me that way

If they say -Why, why, tell 'em that it's human nature

Why, why, does he do me that way

I like living this way

I like loving this way

Looking out

Across the morning

The city's heart begins to beat

Reaching out

I touch her shoulder

I'm dreaming of the street

If they say -Why, why, tell 'em that it's human nature

Why, why, does he do me that way

If they say -Why, why, tell 'em that it's human nature

Why, why, does he do me that way

I like livin' this way

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Lean and Hungry Look

"Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look. He thinks too much..."
~Julius Caeser, William Shakespeare

Hillary Clinton is looking to me a lot like yond Cassius.

She has that 'lean and hungry look' that spells trouble.

I never trusted her as a candidate from the start. Now, she's truly mucking it up for the democrats.

Obama is in the lead with delegates, right? So, Hillary needs to pack it up and go home.

The Dems need a united front against the fundamentalist Republicans. (Yeah, I said it! They are a bunch of fundamentalists over in that camp. Those Republicans have "cells" all over the country. We have to watch out for them! For the safety of our United States of America!)

Let's elect some hope and change, and head into this presidential election ready to bring Democracy to a land that has been under a dictatorship rule for too long.

We don't need troops for this mission, Operation U.S.A. Freedom.
Well, only at the voters' booths.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Can I Get A Little Kindness?

It seems it's going out of style. Random Acts of Kindness are no longer on anyone's priority list.

A smile is even hard to come by these days. Is it because times are hard? Has life got everyone in the pits?

Let's start by giving ourselves a little kindness. Look in the mirror and smile. Then, pass it on. Maybe it will come back to you in ways you might not imagine.

Smile at your neighbor. Smile at the bus driver. Smile at the crossing guard. During your commute, smile at the driver next to you stuck in traffic. As you inch along, give a little kindness to the fellow commuter who may be having a rough morning. You may be able to make a big difference in his/her day.

In turn, you will feel good for having made someone else feel good. And, karma is good.

Try it. And start a Kindness Revolution!

Monday, March 3, 2008

No Community For Old Men

What's goin' on?

Marvin Gaye sang it, back in the day. And I want the question asked again.

There really is no "community" left anymore. Everyone's out for him/herself.

The bees have all flown away seeking bigger and better things, leaving the hive empty.

It saddens me to see our fate: A fractured humanity. No one's raising the children; the village is empty.

To each his own, and survival of the fittest.

If the fate of our future generations is dependent upon cooperation and mutual respect, then may God have mercy on us.

There's nothing in the way of community like it was for my grandparents, or my parents.

I wish the 'good old days' would return.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

One Monkey Don't Stop No Show

If you watched the Oscars, you're probably wondering like me what happened to the movies about people who are NOT white, Anglo-Saxon, of European descent, or whatever you want to call it. (Or, you probably didn't even notice.)

OK, so Norbit did get a nomination. But WHY?

So what if Eddie Murphy can act a fool as 12 different characters using the latest technological advances in make-up and special effects!

I really would like to see a quality film about people who look like me. Not that good, old-fashioned, buffoonery gone the way of the Beta-Max, VHS, and HD-DVD...

Oops, my bad. That's my wishful thinking.

I'm tired of the low-rate, dance movie, family reunion comedy, homeboy heist movies that Hollywood seems to like to churn out to make a fast buck at the expense of the dignity of Black people.

Somebody put Bamboozled, on the T.V. so the audiences can wake up!

No, never mind.
I'm afraid of how many people may just not get it...

Well, it appears that audiences are eating it up at the theaters, otherwise studios wouldn't be making such twaddle. A cavalcade of performances from buffoon after buffoon. I'm starting to think that's what America thinks of us: neck-snappin' sistas and their good-for-nothing, sit-on-his ass, churl of a baby-daddy.

And, don't think I didn't notice that a superbly created film called American Gangster got snubbed.

This consistent marginalization of people of color, and their stories, (REAL STORIES) will not continue forever. I'm making my moves. I'm planning some change. And, with God's help I will succeed, because "one monkey don't stop no show."

"It's been a long, long time coming.
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will..."
~Sam Cooke

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Stupid People Shouldn't Breathe

I had a button in high school that said, "Stupid People Shouldn't Breathe."

I saw another one that said, "Stupid People Shouldn't Breed."

They're out there. What can you do about it? Nothing.

I get a little frustrated now and then, but I realize that God has blessed us each differently.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not an intellectual elitist. And, I don't claim to be the smartest grape in the bunch. But, sometimes the things people say and do make me want to hit them upside the head, and tell them to at least TRY to use the good sense God gave them.

Just to clarify, here are a few pieces of information that could definitely help the intelligence-impaired community:

1. Not all Black people who are Muslim are from the "Nation of Islam."
2. Muslim does not mean "terrorist."
3. Islam is not another word for "fundamentalism."
4. Being a Muslim doesn't mean that a person is from the Middle East or Pakistan.
5. Not all American Muslims are converted from another religion, some are born and raised as second (or third, fourth, fifth, etc.) generation Muslims.

That's just the tip of the iceberg.

Believe it or not, there are these things called books that are chock full of quality information to help the thinking-impaired. If you prefer a more digital learning experience, use your friendly neighborhood library. Along with books, they have audiobooks, CDs, DVDs, and computers equipped with the Internet. There's also friendly staff available to help you locate the information you need. Proceed with caution. You will have to use your brain to process the information you find, so be sure that it's engaged and properly turned on prior to uploading.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Success Obsessed

"F*ck gettin' money, for real, get freedom."
~Black Thought

I'm obsessed with success. Not the kind you're thinking about.


The Devil's greatest accomplishment has been tricking Mankind into believing he doesn't exist, and that his goal in life is to help you fail.

This goes back to purpose. (What's yours?) Mine is to please God and succeed at this game called Life, kick the Devil to the curb, and make it to Heaven.

That's what I call success. Because, on the real, the Devil is also hard at work creating the illusion that God doesn't exist either.

But we know better than that, don't we?

I'm all about SUCCESS. Whatever I do, I have a condition called perfectionism that drives me to do my best at everything from cooking the meanest batch of scrambled eggs and cheese for my kids, to writing and re-writing my scripts until they sing.

Mediocrity is a fatal disease.

So, I'm pushing forward in this world to make my mark, impact others, spread the word. . .

Get some REAL SUCCESS people!

Knowledge is power. Arm yourself. READ a book, or ten. Open your minds, because a closed mind receives nothing.

On this last day of the shortest month of the year, on a day that will not come again for another four years, I send out the call to arms:

"Read! In the name of your Lord who created, Created mankind from a clot. Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous."
~Chapter 96, Verse 1-3, The Noble Qur'an

And, as I leave Black History Month, and move into Women's History Month, I feel incomparable. I feel unparalleled. Recherché. Now, all I need is Muslim History month in April to complete the trifecta...

And, I'm living my life like it's GOLDEN!

My Favorite Lyric This Week:

"Put You On Game" by Lupe Fiasco

Let me put you on game
Let me put you on game

Don't you know that I run this place,
And I've begun this race,

Must I rerun this pace?
I'm the reason it's become this way

And their love for it is the reason I have become this praised
They love my darkness,

I've made them heartless,
And in return, they have become my martyrs,

I've been in the poem of many a poet,
And I reside in the art of many a artist

Some of your smartest have tried to artictulate
My whole part in this

But they're fruitless in their harvest
The dro grows from my footsteps

I'm the one that they follow,
I am the one that they march with

Through the back alleys
And the black markets, The Oval Offices,

The crack houses and apartments
Through the mazes of the queens,

The pages of the sages, And the Chambers of The Kings
Through the veins-es of the fiends,

A paper chaser's pager,
Yo, I'm famous on the scene

One of the oldest, most ancient-est of things
Speak every single language on the planet, y'kna I mean?

I am the American dream,
The rape of Africa
The undying machine,
The overpriced medicine,

The murderous regime,
The tough guy's front,

And the one behind the scenes
I am the blood of this city,

Its gas, water, and electricity,
I'm its gym, and its math, and its history,

The gunshots in the class
And you can't pass if you're missin, G.

I taught them better than that
I taught them aim for the head

And hope they never come back
I'm glad your daddy's gone, baby,

Hope he never comes back,
I hope he's with your mother, with my hustlers high in my trap

I hope you die in his trash,
I can't help it all I hear when you're crying is laughs

I'm sure somebody find you tied up in this bag,
Behind the hospital little baby, crack addicts had

Then maybe you can grow up and be a stripper,
A welfare-receiving prostitute, and gold digger,

You can watch on TV, how they should properly depict you
The rivers should flow with liquor,

Quench your thirst on my elixirs,
I am the safe haven for the rebel runaway and the resister

The trusted misleader, The number one defender,
And from a throne of their bones I rule,

These fools are my fuel, so I make them Cool
Baptize them in the water out of Scarface's pool,

And feed 'em from the table that held the Corleone's food,
If you die, tell them that you played my game

I hope your bullet holes become mouths that say my name,
'Cause I'm the...

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Purpose. Got some?

Are you awake at the wheel? Or on auto-pilot? Do you have a plan in The Grand Design? What is your purpose?

I've concluded that there are WAY too many people asleep at the wheel that steers their lives. Occasionally, I fall into the same dysfunctional pattern of hamster-wheel-living that so many people around me seem to have made their blueprint for life. But, then, at that point, I GOT TO GET AWAY.

I like to live a purpose-driven life. Choices are important. Life is like chess. I haven't mastered chess, but, I doubt I'll ever master life, either.

I decided to start this blog, because all my life I've felt that I have a major purpose.

Wait, blog... major purpose... I know. You're probably thinking, "What does a blog have to do with a major purpose in life?"

Well, every move I make has at least three moves ahead planned into it. And, this move has to do with my film business. And, my film business has to do with my making an impact on the world. So, I started this blog because I've always felt that I have a major purpose in life, and part of that is to make a major impact on the world.

Ever since my earliest memory (which happens to be brushing my teeth with my father when I was maybe 2 years old) I've been living my life with a plan to make an impact on the world before my time is up. Suffice to say that my plans and practices have grown more sophisticated as time has passed, and as I've experienced life. However, the core concept remains: Live a Purpose-Driven Life.

So, this is my introduction to readers. Nice to meet you. My name is Purpose. What's yours? :)